To Be Owned- a submissive or a slave?

A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon her/him. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon her/him to obey.

I got into an interesting discussion with Sir the other day and thought I would record my thoughts on it here.

He seems to have an aversion to the word "ownership". Not because we are not completely loyal and monogamous to each other, but because he worries that it will make him seem overly jealous and possessive to tell others that he owns me. This is part of the reason I do not have a locking collar.

I am striving today to explain to Sir the difference between a loving submissive and a consensual slave.

I am a submissive. I choose to give Him control over my body, my heart and portions of my life as agreed upon and within the limits of our contract. If at any time I see anything as unfair, we will sit down and go over it together and make a decision from there. I have the choice to say no without rendering our relationship irrevocably broken and our contract void. 

CHOICE. That is the key word with us. That is something a submissive has that a slave does not. It takes an amazing amount of inner strength to serve completely without limits, so I'm not insulting those that consider themselves slaves. I do, however like my small freedoms to do and say as I please and act as an equal to my Sir, especially in areas of child rearing. That is my comfort zone.

How do I help him to see that ownership is not a dirty word that takes away all of my rights and stops me from being anything but a servant and not a person, which is what Sir fears it is?

How do I help him to know that he took ownership of me legally when he married me and that to me, that word means I am protected and forever encircled in his love and loyalty?  Whether or not we symbolize that devotion through a ring around my finger or a locked collar around my neck? That there is nothing sweeter to me than to be hanging out somewhere and have him point me out to whomever he's speaking with and say, "She's mine. Isn't she beautiful?"

Is not the statement above a loving claim of ownership? Should I point this out to him or let him simply omit the term and use another word that means the same thing but is more comfortable for him?

Either way it goes, I am His always as his wife, his submissive, lover and friend. Even if he cannot say it directly, I am owned.

Punishment For My Transgressions

"Pull up your skirt and put your hands flat against the wall," said Sir.
I am in the dark space allowed to me by the silky blindfold across my eyes, shivering with anticipation.
I feel his hands wandering languidly over my round bottom, my back and my neck before he forcefully pulls my slinky dress over my head.
He runs the sharp blade in the same path his hands had taken. Stopping just short of my moistening slit. I hear him put the knife down and pick up something else.
"Have you been a good girl this week?" He asks smoothly.
"No Sir," I say with a tremble.
"I can't hear you!" Whack! I feel the sharp stinging rain of the flogger across my back.
"Where. You. A. Good. Girl?" Each word accentuated with a hard snap of leather to my skin.
"No, Sir!" I cry.
"I am going to punish you for your bad behavior. You will count every paddle aloud and should you lose count...Well, I guess we'll just have to start from the beginning then. Won't we, sweet?
Before I can answer there comes the first familiar smack of the paddle, hard across my backside.
"One!"
There is a series of strikes alternating paddle and hand, each more forceful than the last. Twenty-three in all.
I do not lose count, but by the end I can feel the force of the blows throughout my whole body, as unconsciously my body leans in hungrily for more.
The twenty-fourth blow is unexpected as I am trying to catch my breath.
"That was for not thanking me for your discipline," He says. I can hear the grin in his voice and I smile in turn.
"Thank you, Sir for correcting my behavior."
"You're welcome, my love. Now kneel."
He takes my nipples into a hard pinch and I squeal as he pulls on them and rolls the nubs between his fingers, nearly orgasming. I've always had extremely sensitive nipples.
"Ah, you like this, don't you?"
"Yes," I moan.
His hand at my throat snaps my head back against him.
"Yes, what?" he growls.
"Yes! Yes, I like this Sir!"
"Good girl." He pushes me forward so I am laying with my face to the floor, knees propping my ass high into the air, and places the Magic Wand in my hand.
"Turn it on, place it against your clit and don't turn it off until I say."
I do as he asks and feel the first ripple of orgasm within a few moments. He reaches around and turns the vibe up higher. He has one hand around my throat possessively and uses the other to push his length into my wetness.
"This body is mine! *SMACK* This heart is mine! *SMACK* Your orgasms belong to me! *WHACK* You Belong To Me!" he growls as he grinds in and out of me relentlessly.
I am on the verge. I am flying.
"Who are you?" he demands.
"I...I am yours, Sir! I am YOURS!" I stutter in a half sob, half moan.
"Cum for me. Cum with me...NOW."
I am shattering in his hands. My whole body is shaking as I release a river of love all around us. I think I am crying. I'm sure I am laughing. I don't know how long I lay there shivering in his arms afterwards. His hands once rough, now gently brushing over my face and smoothing my hair.
All I know is that in this moment, in this time there is no one I would rather be loved by than my Sir.
Oh, how I love our Wednesday nights.

Until next time...xoxo
Bliss

Setting Up For Wednesday

Wednesdays are special days for us. We are not a 24/7  D/s couple, though we do come close without thinking about it.  Anyway, Wednesdays have special considerations for Sir and I because that is OUR day. The day we put the children to bed early and do whatever our deviant hearts desire. I love the prep of it all. Most often we scene, and I must make ready our area to Sir's specifications and make all tools readily available.  Sometimes he tells me what to put out for him, sometimes he gets them all while I am bound and blindfolded, but all tools should be handy and within easy reach. He will not tell me what he's planning this Wednesday except to ready the area of play as usual, what to wear and how to do my hair and make-up.  When I ask, he just grins his deliciously wicked grin and says only that it will be special, since we had to cut last Wednesday down to just cuddling and watching movies due to Aunt Flo making her unhappy arrival(I hate that bitch *chuckles*).
I do love that we have put this in our contract. It is not to say that we only play on Wednesdays...we don't. It is only to ensure that no matter what, we always set aside time for one another during the week. No matter how tired we are, or how early we have to wake up for children or work the next day, Wednesday night is ours. I think every couple should have that to look forward to every week.
Well, look at me, sitting here writing and fantasizing when I should be cleaning! If I don't get everything done, I'm certain my ass will be feeling it tomorrow and I've already been a bit cranky and lippy with Sir this week.
I wonder how many whacks I will be counting?  However many, I'm sure I deserve them all. I really am a wicked girl sometimes *wink*.

Until next time xoxo,
Bliss

The Fifty Shades Phenominon

I'd like to take a moment to touch on the Fifty Shades novels for a moment. I am more than okay with making the public more aware of their inner kink.  I am happy that BDSM is coming more into the open now. What I am not okay with is badly written smut that does not depict a healthy vanilla relationship, let alone one involving the intense power dynamic of a BDSM relationship. I am not okay with any Tom, Dick or Harry picking up a whip, beating his girlfriend or wife and calling himself a Dom either. Hopefully, people are smart enough to educate themselves before ever venturing into this territory.
 More on the books...
Let's take a virginal, naive young girl(because let's face it, she never matures throughout these novels), thrust a contract in her face that she doesn't understand and proceed to bully and manipulate her into a lifestyle that she doesn't want.  All the while making any activity involving BDSM into an unloving, abusive farce with a man who is obviously a sociopathic slime bag. I would think these books would send curious vanilla couples running for the hills instead of exploring what BDSM really is.

These behaviors are NOT sexy. If you recognize any of these signs in your partner, please get out of the relationship and seek help from the National Domestic Violence Helpline or your local SPARK organization.
I know I speak out strongly against these books and to be fair, against the Twilight novels for the same reason(yes, I know 50 shades is a fanfic of Twilight). I also know E.L. James is laughing all the way to the bank. I just cannot sit back and watch others consider the relationship in these books to be cute, sexy and healthy when they are not.  Re-read them if you have to. Search between the lines. Try and get past all of the "Holy cows!" and immature writing and really see these for what they are. Please don't ever think that this is the way any relationship should be.  You should never manipulate your partner. You should never fear your partner.

If you want fun smut that better depicts the learning of a D/s lifestyle I would suggest the Brie Learns series of short stories by Red Phoenix. Educate yourselves and always stay safe, sane and consensual!

Until next time...xoxo Bliss

Where Do I Begin?

I don't suppose I was ever a normal girl. Even growing up, there was something different about me.
I was always the one that wanted to be tied up in games of cops and robbers. I was never afraid of spankings and made it my mission in life to take care of everyone around me in whatever way they needed it. I have stood my ground against a host of abusers and broken free of my young addiction to self cutting. Am I comfortable with BDSM because I was abused? I don't think so. I enjoy feeling the physical punishments or rewards for good and bad behavior. I need consequences for my actions. I need someone I love to enforce them. I enjoy growing as a person and putting all of my trust in someone I love to help me be a better person. I also hope in so gifting Him with my submission, that He will grow and learn from me and feel honored to have such a devoted wife.

I started to realize as I grew into womanhood, that vanilla sex just didn't do anything for me. It seemed to me that I was choking on the sweetness of it.  I needed someone to throw me against the wall, pin my arms to my sides and show me a passion that burned us both from the inside out. I needed to be bound in order to be free of all of the daily burdens life and society had placed upon my shoulders. You see, I am very dominant in my daily life. I very much run my household, though Sir does have the final say in all things. In allowing myself to submit to Sir- my love, my husband, my soul mate- I am free of all burdens. I float away on the pleasure pain of his hands and paddle or crop or flogger. We have the best communication and honesty in our relationship than most couples I know.

I did not realize until well into my 20's what was going on with me.  Why couldn't I accept that every boy I dated saw me as so very fragile, and would treat me akin to a porcelain doll? I should enjoy being so gently handled, right?  NO. When I first met Sir, he to treated me with kid gloves.
Then, one night I remember well, he started rhythmically and lightly patting my bottom as he was going down on me.  I was startled at first and then amazed by the fact that I enjoyed it more the harder he spanked me. Though I was enjoying this foray into light BDSM, I felt awkward and guilty that I liked  even a small amount of pain during sex, so I stopped him and for the next several months tried to squelch any desire for it. I was unable to stop thinking and fantasizing about it and so He took things slow with me. First with light bondage, then His hands and a few toys, up to my now favorite red paddle, my first flogging and now to a beautiful leather tipped riding crop that doubles as a cane.

This is a journal of our journey into a marriage that blends the D/s power dynamic and the safe, sane and consensual fun of BDSM.