The Vow Renewal And What It Means To Us

It has been quite a while since I've had the time or desire to write out my turbulent little thoughts. Much has been going on in the world of this sub. Mostly, I have been prepping for Sir and I's Vow Renewal coming up in two weeks*squeal*. While that has been going on, I battled a horrible, soul deep, pleaseshootmeorgetmecodienenow toothache. With some honey and cinnamon and a heavy dose of colloidal minerals and ibuprofen, the pain finally stopped after a week of pure torture. I swear, a bad toothache is worse than giving birth...and I've done that without drugs 4 times.

Apart from that ordeal, we have been equally hard at work trying to cure our youngest child of the dreaded whooping cough. So far so good. We're finally getting his poor little lungs free of that terrible anomaly. i have also had to say goodbye to several friendships that had long outrun their course. Some none to nicely, but that's the way of things sometimes.

This has left little time for me to catch my precious glimpses of Sir. He's still inside my laid back husband, waiting to jump out every so often to tell me to wear my sexy kitten heels and nothing else while He fucks me so hard it hurts...but in a good way. I'm in dire need of a good, hard spanking...a little fucking discipline..heh, but that won't happen until the stressful times in Vanilla Land have dissipated and I can resume my comfortable roll as gentle submissive.

Getting back to the Vow Renewal....

Sir and I married very quick and dirty in the courthouse 5 years ago due to some trying personal instances and a legal battle that we felt would be helped along if we were legally married. That, unfortunately, left us without what we had actually wanted. The pretty dress and snazzy suit(and boy oh boy does Sir look hot in a suit!); The relaxed Gothic picnic reception in the back yard , the red velvet cake and the dancing, the small group of family and friends. We didn't have any of that. After all of the trials to test our faith and love for one another over the years, we decided it was time to have the wedding we deserved. I honestly think that we have matured enough to really have an understanding of what marriage actually IS. Knowledge we did not have in the beginning that could have saved us a lot of heartache, but has put us in the place we are now.

It is truly a new beginning for us. Not the rough start of young lovers, but the deep commitment of long time lovers to deeply understand the vows they are making to one another for life. I do not believe in the disposable society we have today. The, don't like it, get a new one mentality. In that way, Sir and I are old fashioned and believe if something is broken, you fix it. I'm so glad to have the chance to do this all the right way. And, as much as Sir can drive me mad, I cannot see myself without him in my life...indeed as an integral part of my being. I honestly believe we are soul mates.

Wish us luck and happy times.

Until next time xoxo

bliss

In My Glass Coffin...

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but it seems Sir is not really interested in being Sir...not for a while now. We are coming close upon our vow renewal ceremony. Is it that stress that makes his dominant side hide and mine come to the forefront? I have asked if the fault is mine that our lifestyle and sex life has so waned and he says no. That he'll work on it, but I haven't seen any results. I haven't worn my collar in weeks, trying to show my heartache and disdain for the loss of my Sir. I feel out of control. Like I'm drifting around in chilly waters. Like my submissive side is laid to rest like Snow White in her glass coffin, awaiting her master's kiss. Perhaps it is just easier to be vanilla in a decidedly vanilla world. I know Sir can take on and off his dominant role like a jacket in summer, while it is much more challenging for me to shrug off my submissive heart. Usually it makes me rebel and do things I know deserve punishment...lately to no avail. Sir will still want me to do things for him and give me tasks to do for the day, but there are no repercussions if I do not do them, nor any release if I do those tasks exceptionally well.

There is only the every day normalcy of our lives. He goes to work and calls me on his break and when he's coming home for the day. I get up early, care for our sons and clean the house. We end the evening watching a show or a movie and that's it. It has been two lonely months that I have been playing peek-a-boo just to get a glimpse of the Sir in my husband. I'm surprised that it doesn't make me angry, as I usually get angry before I feel sorrow. It's my defense mechanism.

I love him as my husband and father to our children, but I despirately miss my Sir and the structure he gives and how he made a blooming flower out of me when he so chose.

Until next He calls for her, my submissive soul will be waiting...sleeping...longing in her glass coffin.