Taking Our Time And What Has Been Up In O/our World To Date

Collar made by DerAlbinoArffe on Etsy

Hello to those that still read my musings! I am still here. I simply took some time off of blogging to work out the "kinks" so to speak with Sir, who is still a relatively new Dom who needed to seek out and obtain some advice from more experienced Masters. All is well here. 

At the risk of being deemed one with a Velcro collar, W/we took some time and found a seller of beautiful leather collars that could and did make me a collar that would not cause skin reactions. Those allergies are what has caused me to frequently change collars, as the one Sir first gave me(which I still love in spite of the reaction) wound up giving me an unsightly rash. The above is the simple, yet sturdy collar that now adorns my neck. I love the way it feels. there is such a difference between metal and leather. It feels, to me with the leather, that I always have Sir's hand in a protective gesture around my throat. A feeling I find very comforting...So much so, in fact, that I am loathe to remove it when I am sent to bed.

W/we will be purchasing one of Lady Mockingbird's collars in the near future Yay tax refund! as my final and permanent collar.

Speaking of that lovely little government refund, Sir is also deciding if He wants to get a tattoo sleeve done of all of his favorite horror movies and if He will allow me to finally get the chest piece I have been designing for over a year.  My tiny net book finally got the boot, as the screen was cracked, and Sir went to Rent A Center on a whim to procure me a new one. I am now happily typing on a Sony Vaios laptop. I just had to throw that little tidbit in there. I bounced around joyfully when He came in with it and have been trying to learn every nuance of the Windows 8 operating system ever since.

Things here have slowly been moving into the dynamic that W/we both crave. I now have rules and boundaries set into place. 

Such as: I may not eat until Sir has taken the first bite of His food. When out, I may not order or speak to the wait staff unless it is to say thank you with my eyes lowered. When Sir returns home from work I am to greet Him at the door with a Red Bull(or Rum and Coke if it's Friday) and a fresh cigarette with my head bowed until He kisses the top of my head.

He is still working on some ways to punish me more immediately than once a week for my transgressions(Punishments, not Funishments ;) ). I know on the more severe end will be being forced to sleep on the floor with a thin blanket instead of in bed with Him. On the lighter end will be devil's hot sauce on the tongue if I am mouthy, corner time or taking away my favorite show on TV(Grey's Anatomy, in case you wondered). I am enjoying the structure of it all and how close Sir and I have become on this journey. I know there is still so much to explore and ever still many ways He will surprise me.

Speaking of being surprised, Sir informed me that he brought us out of the kinky closet so to speak, to His mother. Apparently she took it well. He only gave her the bare bones of it all, but she listened quietly and seemed to be taking mental notes. So far only her and a select few friends know of our dynamic. W/we are very discreet. Still, it is nice to know at least one family member either made no, or kept her judgements to herself. I know this post is a bit disjointed. I promise I will be writing again soon, with better formed thoughts and maybe a recount of a sexy scene or two.

Until then,

xoxo bliss- his little lolita<3

The Knife That Cuts And Heals- A Fantasy

My arms are above my head encased in fur lined cuffs. I can hear the chains rattle when I shift, but see only the darkness of the mask covering my eyes. It is warm in the room and I smell burning wax and wonder how it would feel slowly drizzled across my skin.

Your breath on the back of my neck, hot and wet shakes me from my reverie.

"Spread your legs" You say. And I do as I'm told.

I hear Him shift and there is heat just below my cunt between my outstretched legs.

"What you feel," You say as You move from one ear to the other to disorient me, "Is the slow burn of a high tapered, lit candle. Should you sweat, cum or bleed you will hear it sizzle. If any of these are done without my permission, I will let the flame lick your skin. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir."

For a moment, I think He has left me alone to contemplate how this punishment will play out, until I feel His cool hand snap freezing cold clamps upon my nipples.

"Cold above, hot below," He chuckles, giving my ass a sharp swat.

I enjoy the extremes of both and He knows it.

He bends down and lightly flicks at my clitoris with His tongue as He slides His middle finger inside of me in an almost clinical manner. Not to arouse(though it does), but to check, for what I am not certain, but He gives a grunt of approval none the less.

I am already wet with desire and trying hard not to drip onto the candle.

"I am going to be hard on you tonight, my beautiful whore. It has been far to long since I have tested you. You may not cry out. You may not cum until I tell you that it is My will for you to do so."

I feel the sharp bite of the small leather flogger . The sting is Heaven and I lean into the pain. Harder he swings, changing from flogger to crop and finally to belt and I know my back, legs and ass are red as crimson and likely bruised. I don't mind. I relish the pain. I take it into me as the fiery symbol of His passion for me.

He switches my restraints to the spreader bars and lays me on a table angled down. The candle is still beneath my pussy, waiting to punish me.

I feel something hard and sleek pushing it's way past my moistened nether lips and fight back a gasp.

"I am going to slice open your flesh and sink myself into you. I want your blood on my cock and on my tongue. I want to tear you apart! Kiss the knife with your pussy. Perhaps, the blade will be kind and only scratch instead."

He shoves the hilt of the knife deep into my cunt and I feel myself contract around it. I am shivering in anticipation and close to orgasm and I feel some of the wetness drip down my leg and sizzle into the candle flame and I freeze. I can feel His Sadistic little grin twist His mouth and know I will be punished.

He shoves the knife deeper into my cunt and tells me to hold it there until He retrieves it. I feel the warmth move closer to my inner thigh. I can smell the fine hair burning and squirm under the intense little flame. He laughs, low and deep as He traces the trail of moisture up and up and up, only to switch to the other thigh, repeating the trail just shy of my clit and I realise He is heating the blade every time He passes!

Finally, He holds the candle flame directly underneath my clit, causing a small whimper of fear and pain to escape my lips. He holds it there for what seems like an hour, but it is likely only a few seconds, swoops it upwards until the moisture on my pussy touches the flame and puts it out...leaving hot wax coating me in it's wake. I do not drop the knife.

"Good girl. You took your punishment well."

He removes the knife from my throbbing hole and runs the heated blade down my chest. I shiver and my sore, burned thighs tingle. He runs it back up and lays the blade flat against my right nipple, hard and swollen in the cold clamp and sinks his teeth into my shoulder. I feel the skin break and my spirit beginning to slip from the puncture wounds.

"No. Not yet. I want you here with me. I want you to feel this. I want you to trust this pain. I want to remind you that your skin, bones, blood and soul belong to me. I will eat you raw and you will enjoy it because you are mine!" 

His voice is a disembodied growl.

The blade sinks into my breast, just above the nipple and He drags it slowly. I can feel the blood well up from the wound and I grit my teeth.

"Give in to the pain, love. Let it become your bliss, as you are My bliss."

He locks his mouth over the fresh wound, suckling like a newborn as he makes another, slightly deeper cut into my lower abdomen. The blood begins to trickle down and He runs His finger between the folds of open skin, as though His finger were swirling within my depths, urging me to orgasm. The pain is exquisite. Beautiful and intensely erotic.

He nicks into my inner thighs, using the trickles of blood as lubricant for my clit. I am teetering on the edge of a powerful orgasm as He tosses the blade aside and slices into me with His cock, hot and sharp. Tearing at my soul and claiming it violently.

"Cum with me. Let my seed heal all wounds. Give yourself to me!"

We explode together. The universe sees only one being, no longer two. I am Him. He is me.

Everything is peace.

I am broken and healed all at once as my body cries blood tears into His mouth...onto His prick...gifting His eyes with the savage beauty of it all.

He is my breaker and my healer.

I am Him. He is me.

Now I understand.

The Satisfying Return Of SIR

After several months of fleeting glimpses of my Sir in my husband's eyes, He has suddenly reemerged from the depths of stress and sickness. Much to my delight! In my disdain, I had removed my collar(mainly because the metal got caught on things and my sensitive skin saw fit to create a rash where it lay). Sir still remained submerged at that point and I had no idea of what He was planning in that devious mind of His.

My guess is that He saw my discomfort with my original collar and set about to find me something I could wear all the time without questions from others that was unique and delicate. About a week ago, Sir called me and my whole body lit up as I noticed the subtle change in His voice from Husband to Sir. He ordered me to dress nicely, do my hair and makeup and meet Him at the local bar. There He presented me with first, my favorite drink, and then opened a small purple box within which was a tiny silver chain with a real,  red tea rose encased in lacquer to preserve it forever attached. I squealed in surprise and love as He placed the delicate forever bloom around my throat and explained the reason for His choice.

"I have not been tending to you as diligently as I should. And, as such, I have seen you wilting under the weight of my demands. This is your new collar, to wear always unless it has need of cleaning. It is to symbolize that My love and guidance are always with you and that you are as precious and unique as the rose around your neck. I will make you bloom again. Thank you for your patience with me, my beautiful bliss."

I smiled gently as He wiped away my tears of silent gratitude.

The last few weeks have been filled with those tears...happy tears...tears of fulfillment.

Sir walking in with a bouquet of roses that look like a sunset and a huge teddy bear for when I am lonely(because, let's face it, every sub has a baby girl side and every Dom a Daddy side.), handing me a glass of my favorite wine for no other reason than to see my mouth curve into an appreciative grin. Oh yes, even after 5 years of marriage and 6 years together, He can still make my soul quiver with a glance or the flick of His finger under my chin. Even as He is giving me my task list for the day(Finally!), I am finding myself rushing to things I would normally do my very best to put off until I HAD to them with a hum and a wink.

My whole being is lit up from the inside, like a firefly in a jar. I am feeding on His kindness and His calm Dominance. He does not have to ask; He simply states what He wants and expects it to be done. I missed Him. I missed the ease that washes over me when He takes the world off of my shoulders and I am responsible only for my own actions and His pleasure.

My submission then wells over until there is only Us. My head resting upon His knees as He answers emails on my computer...Feeling His hands idly stroking my hair, or playfully cupping a breast, or challenging me to be silent as His fingers swirl inside of me, hidden in my jeans or the folds of my skirt, while we are watching a movie among friends.

In a few weeks, He is planning what will amount to our second honeymoon at a tacky, cute hotel on the island. He told me to pack His crop, my play collar and my smallest, most revealing lingerie. I wonder what He has in mind? I'll be sure to let you know*wink*.

Until then xoxo,

bliss

Hello Husband! Can I Have Sir Back Now?

Yeah, Sir has been sick with this bronchitis plague for way to long! Unfortunately, when sick, Sir ceases to be Sir and becomes similar to a 4 year old who has been out to long and needs a nap. I have been running myself ragged caring for Him and for our two boys that He passed the illness on to, for well over 3 weeks. I'm worried that by the time He is feeling tip top enough to wield the whip again,at best I will be to exhausted, or at worst, have then come down with the same illness. I love my Sir and I do not mind caring for Him, but when it starts to affect my own health, I worry. Sometimes, I need a break as well. Rest assured, every time I DO get a break, within an hour all I want to do is go home to my Sir and cuddle.

As of right now, I know very well I have gotten away with waaaaaay to much sass. I'm virtually asking for a heavy session...One that pushes me past my limits and makes me sweat, makes me cry, makes me bleed and makes me fly *licks lips and smiles*.

I long for Sir to look at me with His dark stare and tell me to bring the crop to Him in my teeth, instead of watching Him cough and listlessly play video games.

I miss Him. I need Him. I want to feel His hands tearing apart my clothes and pulling on my hair. Taste the sex and blood on His whip.  I want to drown in His discipline and His guidance. 

When?

Soon, I hope.

Until then, I will keep feeding my Husband broth and vitamins until he magically transforms into Sir again.

And We Are Finally Weddinged!

Lordy the last month has been so busy I haven't had time to post about how Sir and I's Wedding Vow Renewal went! First off, my father in law destroyed the area we were going to use for ceremony and reception TWO WEEKS before the wedding. Luckily, he had enclosed part of the property and we ended up cleaning it up as best as we could a few days before. His mother came through on the day of with a bunch of food, so no one would go hungry and we were able to get the electric on so we could have pretty lights and music, though no dance floor since that was on the part of the property that was destroyed(Literally looked like a bomb hit it). So, I'll give you guys the run down of the goods and the bads.

Good:
1. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful.
2. The music was perfect.
3. The cake was awesome(A black and white red velvet cake with a skeletal bride and groom on top)!
4. Cutting the cake with a replica of the butcher knife in the Halloween movies and the looks on our relative's faces when we did that was priceless.
5. The look of pure love and admiration on my Sir's face.
6. The pure love and admiration for Sir I'm sure showed on my face.
7. The friends and family that actually showed up and helped with everything.
8. My son refusing to let me walk down the aisle alone and "giving me away" to Sir.
9. That my Mom showed up.
10. We looked FABULOUS!
11. All of our children were there.
12. Everyone who came had a great time and loved the raspberry mead we made.

Bad:
1. Having to relocate 2 weeks before the ceremony.
2. It was brutally hot and humid!
3. We never got a first dance.
4. The reception got cut short because of rain.
5. Half of the RSVP's didn't show or call.
6. Everything but the ceremony and the cake cutting felt rushed.
7. Sir was sick and has been trying to get over being sick, so we didn't get to play until today when He felt better.
8. Having tractors in the background of most of our pictures because they were not moved as promised.
9. Sir and I barely got to spend any time with each other.
10. The skeletal Groom took a tumble because it was so hot the icing melted a little, but I righted Him.

All in all, not a bad day. There are things I will always cherish about it, like my Sir's look of love and my son walking me down the aisle. But, I'm glad it's all over...pheeeew!


Pictures? But of course!

During the ceremony(Notice the roses on tulle ropes behind us? Yeah, no one had a clue what THOSE represented. Clever, clever us!)

The ring ceremony(Nor did they understand why I wore the lace corset gloves that represented my cuffs)

Our awesome cake

Cupcakes for the kids

My awesome duct tape rose bouquet(yep, I made it myself)

Until next time

xoxo

bliss

The Vow Renewal And What It Means To Us

It has been quite a while since I've had the time or desire to write out my turbulent little thoughts. Much has been going on in the world of this sub. Mostly, I have been prepping for Sir and I's Vow Renewal coming up in two weeks*squeal*. While that has been going on, I battled a horrible, soul deep, pleaseshootmeorgetmecodienenow toothache. With some honey and cinnamon and a heavy dose of colloidal minerals and ibuprofen, the pain finally stopped after a week of pure torture. I swear, a bad toothache is worse than giving birth...and I've done that without drugs 4 times.

Apart from that ordeal, we have been equally hard at work trying to cure our youngest child of the dreaded whooping cough. So far so good. We're finally getting his poor little lungs free of that terrible anomaly. i have also had to say goodbye to several friendships that had long outrun their course. Some none to nicely, but that's the way of things sometimes.

This has left little time for me to catch my precious glimpses of Sir. He's still inside my laid back husband, waiting to jump out every so often to tell me to wear my sexy kitten heels and nothing else while He fucks me so hard it hurts...but in a good way. I'm in dire need of a good, hard spanking...a little fucking discipline..heh, but that won't happen until the stressful times in Vanilla Land have dissipated and I can resume my comfortable roll as gentle submissive.

Getting back to the Vow Renewal....

Sir and I married very quick and dirty in the courthouse 5 years ago due to some trying personal instances and a legal battle that we felt would be helped along if we were legally married. That, unfortunately, left us without what we had actually wanted. The pretty dress and snazzy suit(and boy oh boy does Sir look hot in a suit!); The relaxed Gothic picnic reception in the back yard , the red velvet cake and the dancing, the small group of family and friends. We didn't have any of that. After all of the trials to test our faith and love for one another over the years, we decided it was time to have the wedding we deserved. I honestly think that we have matured enough to really have an understanding of what marriage actually IS. Knowledge we did not have in the beginning that could have saved us a lot of heartache, but has put us in the place we are now.

It is truly a new beginning for us. Not the rough start of young lovers, but the deep commitment of long time lovers to deeply understand the vows they are making to one another for life. I do not believe in the disposable society we have today. The, don't like it, get a new one mentality. In that way, Sir and I are old fashioned and believe if something is broken, you fix it. I'm so glad to have the chance to do this all the right way. And, as much as Sir can drive me mad, I cannot see myself without him in my life...indeed as an integral part of my being. I honestly believe we are soul mates.

Wish us luck and happy times.

Until next time xoxo

bliss

In My Glass Coffin...

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but it seems Sir is not really interested in being Sir...not for a while now. We are coming close upon our vow renewal ceremony. Is it that stress that makes his dominant side hide and mine come to the forefront? I have asked if the fault is mine that our lifestyle and sex life has so waned and he says no. That he'll work on it, but I haven't seen any results. I haven't worn my collar in weeks, trying to show my heartache and disdain for the loss of my Sir. I feel out of control. Like I'm drifting around in chilly waters. Like my submissive side is laid to rest like Snow White in her glass coffin, awaiting her master's kiss. Perhaps it is just easier to be vanilla in a decidedly vanilla world. I know Sir can take on and off his dominant role like a jacket in summer, while it is much more challenging for me to shrug off my submissive heart. Usually it makes me rebel and do things I know deserve punishment...lately to no avail. Sir will still want me to do things for him and give me tasks to do for the day, but there are no repercussions if I do not do them, nor any release if I do those tasks exceptionally well.

There is only the every day normalcy of our lives. He goes to work and calls me on his break and when he's coming home for the day. I get up early, care for our sons and clean the house. We end the evening watching a show or a movie and that's it. It has been two lonely months that I have been playing peek-a-boo just to get a glimpse of the Sir in my husband. I'm surprised that it doesn't make me angry, as I usually get angry before I feel sorrow. It's my defense mechanism.

I love him as my husband and father to our children, but I despirately miss my Sir and the structure he gives and how he made a blooming flower out of me when he so chose.

Until next He calls for her, my submissive soul will be waiting...sleeping...longing in her glass coffin.