I find myself being a little obstinate with Sir lately. I know my role as a submissive is to roll with his choices of what, when and where he wants to do things, but for a few weeks now it really has been all about him...with very little playtime or sex. I understand everyone getting over the horrible stomach bug that flew around my house last week. I understand His excitement over the purchase and use of his new firearm. But, sometimes, maybe selfishly, I want that excitement and hunger to be directed at me. Maybe it's because I don't feel new anymore. Perhaps I need my boundaries pushed further and for Him not to be so lax in my discipline?
Sir has said that since we've missed our last 2 planned sessions, we will be switching to tonight for playtime. So, maybe my worry and aggravation is for naught. Still, it is better for me to voice my concerns with him than to remain silent and let them fester into resentments. Maybe I need to look within as well and find out why I'm having a harder time letting go of control lately and meditate on being a gentle stream instead of a turbulent sea?
On brighter notes, my permanent day collar came in and it is perfect! I also managed to make everyone smile on Valentine's Day with various creative gifts including a bacon rose bouquet and a heart shaped meatloaf.
Our wedding vow renewal is just around the corner now and I'm getting that butterfly in the stomach feeling hoping everything goes off with few problems.
Wish us luck. Wish us love. Wish us hot sex and the marks to prove it.
Until next time...xoxo Bliss
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